Goodbye 2020

I was debating on whether or not to even write a blog post like this, just because of the shit-show of a year we’ve all just had. But I’ve posted an “end of year” post every year since I was 15 years old. One of my biggest regrets in life so far is having a meltdown in a depressive state of mind & completely wiping any existence of my old blog, as I would LOVE to be able to read those posts back. My 15 year old ass was definitely writing all kinds of stuff. “Become a Hollywood actor by April”, “buy a designer bag with my £200 a month wage”, “ditch the fake bitches”.

2020 has certainly been like no other – and although I have spent 50% of the year in a lockdown and the other 50% of the year trying to stay sane – it has actually been the best year of my life so far.

I cannot begin to explain how grateful and blessed I feel to have had another Christmas with every member of my precious family. If you have ever lost someone in your immediate family, you’ll know the gutting feeling of having one less person at the dinner table. After the year we have all had, I am beyond grateful that our angels have looked after us all this year.

I feel I also need to address the fact that although I have been blessed this year, I know that there are so many people who haven’t been quite as lucky. There are many poor souls we have lost in 2020 – and I feel for every single one of them. I think I can vouch for everyone by saying 2020 has taught us all to love and appreciate those around us. My heart goes out to anyone who has suffered in any kind of way this year. You are not alone! “We are all in the same storm, but not in the same boat”.

The main thing I have learnt from this year is that material things really do not matter. Take away the touch and attention of other humans, and you’re left with virtually nothing. I have never longed to cuddle my family members as much as I have this year. The day that we can all be together again will be like no other.

Although a terrifying and uncertain year- I have achieved more than I ever thought I could at 21 years old. When my mum passed away, I spent the next 5 years so confident that life wasn’t worth living. I was so so unhappy and bitter that it was my mum that had to be taken, that I lost focus on everything else around me. For 5 years I just simply existed because I had no other choice. I was on auto drive 24/7.

Now I’m older, I fully believe that things always get better. I went to therapy and my therapist said “Megan, you’re at Rock bottom now. The worst ever point in your life. It can only ever be up from here” and as depressing that sounds, it’s all I think of when I feel sad.

Here are some of the things I achieved in 2020:

I am so genuinely happy

I feel this is the most important achievement – and it kind of pairs up with the end of 2019 too. When I was younger, I remember people would ask me “what do you want to do when you’re older?”, “do you want to go to uni?”, “what age do you think you’ll have kids?”. I used to be so confident in the fact that I would never get to that stage in my life, so I never wanted to answer. I was so certain that something bad would happen to me and I never wanted to get my hopes up. I spent years taking anti depressants because I literally couldn’t cope without them. I took my last pill in June 2019 and I haven’t thought about it since. I am genuinely high on life and I absolutely adore the life I live. I just feel so happy 24/7 and it’s an achievement in itself to even be able to say that!

I smashed my fitness goals

I knew 2020 was going to be the year that I got super fit. I started the year by running more and then in March I found a new love for HIIT. I have continued HIIT workouts ever since and albeit I have been slacking the last few months, I am the fittest I have ever been. 2021 is going to be the year I am more consistent with it!

I bought a house

If you hadn’t heard already (firstly, where tf have you been?), I bought a house!!! I cannot even tell you how long I have dreamt of owning my own home. After my parents divorced, I moved from house to house and nowhere ever felt like home anymore. Buying a house felt like it was years away, but we finally did it this year. I am so grateful to own a house and have somewhere I can call my home.

We got a dog

Again, if you hadn’t heard then where have you beeeeeeen? Ever since me and Brad got together, I have been on and on about getting a dog. The house felt so empty once we had moved in and growing up with dogs around, I knew it was something I needed to do. August came around and we got a gorgeous Shar-Pei X Cocker Spaniel named Bella – she is honestly the light in our lives. She has such a personality and truly is a form of therapy. I feel so calm and loved whenever she is near. One of my proudest moments to date!

Goals for next year

I am not one to set resolutions as I think they’re generally a rubbish concept & no one sticks to them anyway. However, I do have some goals I would like to achieve:

Begin to save for a second mortgage

Now, this is being pretty optimistic but it’s something I want to do. Although we have bought our first home and are so happy here, this isn’t where we plan to stay as it isn’t big enough for a family. I will need even more of a deposit than what I paid for my first home, so this is definitely going to take some time! No harm in making a start!!

Get another dog

Although we are so besotted with our gorgeous Bella, our breeder has hinted she may be breeding Bella’s parents again. If so, I cannot give up the chance of getting another perfect little baby which will be Bella’s actual brother/sister. She has said if she does breed them, she’ll aim for late summer. Watch this space!

Earn from my blog

I vowed to myself when I re-launched my blog that I would not try to make money from it. My old blog was monetised, but running a monetised blog whilst working a full time job took every ounce of enjoyment out of it which is why I had a breakdown and wiped it completely. However, blogging for 12 months as a hobby has made me fall in love with it again and I have no idea why I turn down opportunities to monetise something I have such a passion for. I have set myself personal financial goals – I’m so excited to go at it this year!

Travel some more

This is a loose goal- as this is very much COVID-permitting. I would like to travel some more this year. Me and Brad have so many places we want to visit and things we want to do. We have already travelled to 2 countries together and there is so much more we want to explore!

I am so proud of everything I have achieved this year and so excited for the future. Although a very uncertain & scary time, I am trying to look at the positives and still enjoy my life to the max. Happy 2021! Here’s to a much healthier year!